The post that needs no words... But of course it does!

I wanted to add this last year, but I've actually been way too busy moving on from this gem in the past 12 months. That being said, it would be down right shameful not to share with the world.

Before I woke up and smelled the crazy, I spent more time than I'm proud of with This guy. I was going to make some edits to these to hide his identity but...

Yeah screw it :-)

You know when the guy you are seeing gets a promotion and has a card with "congratulations" written on it, tells you to read it and then it turns out to be a smutty sex super hero card made for him by some chick named Jen? No?? Just me?? Oh, then take a moment to soak this one in!

Did I mention it was laminated?

Can't quite read that type? I got you covered! To really bring the style and class home for you, I've left the grammatical liberties in their raw form. (Yet another child left behind...)

"A virgin's song that lurks throughout Norfolk tells of a baby boy who descended on the back of a giant thunderbird.  Rumored to be a decedent of the Cimmerians he is the only remaining man to know the Riddle of Steal and by age fifteen was already a respected warrior. 

Renowned for his heighten perceptions and knowledge of clean technologies and market trends he was appointed by Crom to forage and build a great city.

While he slaved away women from all over threw themselves at him hoping that they too would learn the secret and wield the power of steal.  However, no matter how many boobs he conquered, he was never fully satisfied and refused to share his knowledge.

Furious an army of evil non-eco friendly succubi attacked the great city destroying all that he had built.  Forlorn and drunk he stumbled the streets of DC and considered ending it all until he stumbled onto a dating website and met a vivacious Lieutenant whose pants were so sexy that he could not stay out of them. 

Together they joined forces, with his large "sword" and her fabulous badonkadonk they defeated evil and rebuilt the city with maximum efficiency.

SPECIAL POWER: Hawkins embodies the strength and sexual potency of 1,000 men.  When he heads off to battle he leaves behind a trail of satisfied women and broken hearts.

BONUS ATTACK: His ability to consume an insurmountable amount of booze can ignite a furt like no man has seen before (making him a challenging opponent in battle).  This can be temporarily relieved as long as his partner LT Sexy Pants hold the "Awkwardly Hilarious" and the "Nothing Like an Old Fashion" cards.

The funniest part about this card? It wasn't the horrific detail and Dungeons and Dragons references.  It's that this card was the impetus that led to my meeting the love of my life...

Subway is for Lovers! Well, Porn Stars at least!

Okay this actually has nothing to do with online dating I just thought it was too fun not to share. And yes, I do take pictures of strangers.

I didn't pay for this Footlong...

Classic Navy Dudes

No other words necessary...

So Where Were We?

So funny story... Some of the gentlemen that I met back when I first started the blog/DC dating scene are still in my life.

One, who I never wrote about because I never really had anything negative or particularly entertaining to say about him and I are still friends. In fact, he picked up my Mega Millions ticket that won me a whole $10. Ain't nothin wrong with that.

Wamp Wamp/ The End Is Nigh and I also keep in touch. It's usually negative in nature, he just needs a reality check every so often. Also, he's in IT and occasionally sends me referrals.

Mike (The Omens) and I talk Mets and Giants. I'm the most surprised about that one since I was so pissed when I dumped him and it was so awkward that we were still in the same Fantasy Football league.

Never play fantasy with someone you've seen naked. It will not work out.

There was another match who had a reprise, but since I have not yet shared part 1, I'll save that for another entry.

My last and (now) most important artifact from Online Extravaganza Part One is actually part of the reason I've relaunched my site, because it's a story so ridiculous it would only happen to me. And must be told. We shall call him Anderson...

Who Says Online Dating Can't Be Hilarious?

In case you have never sailed the Plenty of Fish seas (POF is a free dating site by the way) then you might not realize that the caliber of conversation can tend to be subpar--- you get what you pay for right? Anyways, why not have fun with it? My gift to you, sharing the magic! Check out this Prince Charming... PS- He did not guess correctly. Darn.

Why Start with POF?

Simple. Speed of delivery! The caveat; not the most clever of emails...

We could also go with America's finest "I currently stationed at Andrews,AFB,MD...I have just moved the annapolis area, I kind of like it here. I have really bad ADHD and I like to sing to the radio even though I am a really bad singer!"

Loves it!

Today I logged into Plenty of Fish

Hey guys, I'm back! (again)

A couple years wiser, with a ton more dating experience under my belt and I'm ready to share again....

My goal this time around is simple: looking for LOVE! Or Lerve, as Celine Dion would say. What's inspired this? Well after the last 2 years of casual dating I've discovered a couple things about myself. I am completely capable of just dating, but when it comes down to commitment and long term relationships? Well, I have prime seating on the short bus of love.

So here I sit... In the cafeteria of Harris Teeter during lunch rush... Breaking the silence and going for it! You've been complaining that you don't have enough time wasters during work hours, so Merry Christmas, loyal fans, I'm back!